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Marcelka, you got a package.
Those must be the ear candles I ordered.
Ear candles?
It's disgusting to make candles from ears.
They're not candles from ears, but for ears.
To me it looks more like something you smoke.
It's a Chinese health aid.
What's it for?
It's obvious, isn't it?
So it's not dark in your ears.
It improves circulation and cleans the sinuses.
You just stick it in your ear like this and light it here.
And you inhale here.
That was a joke.
I think you inhale through the nose.
Hey.
What are you doing here?
No school or what?
We got the day off.
They took Benes to the hospital with suspected African disease.
What?
Yeah, they took him right from class.
How did he catch it?
He was in Tunisia with his parents and a camel spat on him.
I see.
And then they washed him with water at the hotel and that's probably how he got it.
Now they're testing him for Nigerian dysentery.
And we get a day off.
Obviously, for these exotic diseases you need a radical solution.
Like back in '73, remember, when we had the plague at school?
Bro, what plague?
In '73 your school burned down.
That's what I'm saying, radical solution.
If I hadn't set it on fire, we'd all be dead today.
You set it on fire?
What was I supposed to do?
I'm sleeping peacefully in class and suddenly I hear the teacher say a great plague epidemic has broken out.
Wasn't that in history class by any chance?
What's that got to do with it?
I'll go pack then.
My God, you don't have to go to the hospital too?
No, we're going to Horakova's cabin with the class.
Since we have three days off now, if that's okay.
The twins are already packing.
Alright, as long as nobody protects you there by burning the whole place down...
Don't worry.
Since last year, Lexa has to surrender sharp objects and matches right on arrival.
What's that?
A swimsuit.
Where?
Dad, stop it, we live in the twenty-first century.
Why don't you take those nice green one-piece ones I bought you for Croatia?
You bought them five years ago, I was eleven.
Still better than this nothing on a string, you might as well swim naked.
And I could.
Kropackova and Hajek do it too.
Don't you dare parade around naked in front of a herd of germ carriers.
Don't be dramatic.
I'm not being dramatic?
I'm reading.
Salmonella nigeris, also known as Nigerian dysentery, is among the particularly dangerous diseases of African countries.
For God's sake, don't start reading me the family doctor guide again.
Of course not.
This is an encyclopedia of exotic diseases.
Where'd you get it?
I bought it for you, so you'd recognize it if he caught dysentery somewhere.
But listen.
Among the first symptoms are sudden and intense diarrhea.
Diarrhea causes dehydration, which manifests as burning thirst.
Iva, which glass is this today?
First.
But it's almost empty.
You're not dehydrated, Dad, that looks different.
Another symptom is significant spatial disorientation.
Iva, is it on the tip?
Yeah, right on the tip.
Look carefully, I feel like it's slightly to the left.
Dad.
Missing by two millimeters doesn't mean you have significant spatial disorientation.
And how do you imagine significant spatial disorientation should look?
Ozzak, what's wrong with you?
Were you at the pub again, that you can't walk through a door?
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm jamming to the music.
Nothing's playing right now.
You can't hear anything?
Indeed I can't hear anything.
Doesn't that seem strange to you?
Look, if you're so smart, go check the back yourself.
I'm going back to the counter.
In the final stages, dehydration causes babbling.
Don't you think I've been saying anything nonsensical today?
Yeah, that stuff about the swimsuit.
Iva, I'm your father and as a father I have to make sure you don't put yourself on display.
You're babbling again.
Babbling?
You really think so?
No more than usual.
Marcelka.
This cream that gentleman wanted, should I wipe it up or wait for the war of the cats?
Excuse me?
Russians have deer and deer hatch watering cans.
Ozzak, you're talking complete nonsense.
You're drilling bread, boss.
Market, celery, plasticine.
Ozzak, you're behaving abnormally.
I don't mean abnormally as in normally.
I mean abnormally compared to your normal.
Woman, what are you babbling about?
Ozzak, maybe you should see a doctor.
I know an excellent specialist in Bohnice.
Enough, bimbo!
Doctors are frauds.
No illness can take down a real man.
Maybe you don't even realize you're sick.
There's no illness that half a liter of Fernet can't cure.
My leg hurts, I have a Fernet, all good.
My head hurts, I have a Fernet, all good again.
My liver hurts, so I skip it.
Fernet cures everything.
Ozzak, there's really something wrong with you.
You're all out of breath.
Nonsense.
Me and a sack?
Flour flows into the fridge only in Pilsen and bats can hardly outdo lazy cockroaches.
Bats can hardly outdo lazy cockroaches?
Woman, you're babbling again.
But...
You were the one talking about bats first.
Nonsense, I said there's nothing wrong with me.
If you have ear problems, go to the doctor yourself.
Excuse me, I've never had hearing problems.
Must be those ear lanterns of yours.
It's not dark in your ears for no reason, you know.
And whoever turns on the light shouldn't be surprised to discover the lard of doom.
And the tin gondola stirs up the salamis.
The disease manifests first with mild, then increasingly marked disorientation.
We've got a small problem.
What is it?
I'm getting disoriented.
See, a clear symptom.
It's a clear symptom that you've been reading those books too long.
Ivuska, what if I really do have the dysentery?
Have you been to Africa?
Well, no.
Did you hug Benes?
What are you babbling about?
See?
Babbling, disorientation.
Nigerian dysentery textbook case.
Every time you read about diseases, you immediately have several fatal illnesses at once.
Like when you got a rash from strawberries and thought you had shingles.
Everyone's entitled to a mistake.
Ivuska, I just feel that something's wrong.
If you feel bad, go to the doctor.
What good will that do?
She'll just say there's nothing.
Wrong with you, you're a hypochondriac, that'll be thirty crowns.
Anyone can tell me that.
See, there's nothing wrong with you, you're a hypochondriac, give me thirty crowns.
Or better yet, a liter.
I don't know how much the train will cost.
But I'm not a hypochondriac!
You are!
Getting vaccinated for rabies when you bite your own tongue is perfectly normal.
Fine, go then, but I hope you realize you might be seeing me for the last time.
Dad, that's emotional blackmail.
No, just go, I'll take care of myself.
But I don't want to, that's why I turned on your phone and tell me the exact address where you're going.
So that means ten texts before I get there.
Ten calls during the night and in the morning you'll send Ozzak to bring me to your deathbed.
Only if necessary.
Great.
So I'm not going anywhere.
That's sweet of you to understand the seriousness of the situation.
Ozzak at a class party.
That would be serious.
Hurry up, sis!
It's terrible how slow you are.
What's wrong with him?
Horackova texted him that Novacek already drank two cartons of juice and will probably throw up soon.
So what?
I always used to be the first one to puke at every party.
And everyone talked about me for two weeks after.
If sis didn't take so long packing, we could've been there ages ago.
I was packing important things.
Map, toothbrush, sunscreen, what's important about that?
And what important things did you pack?
Vodka, Fernet, rum, and absinthe.
And that's everything you're bringing?
Of course not.
Also a corkscrew.
Great.
Thanks a lot, sis.
If we hurry, I can still be second.
It's not about speed, it's about quality.
Have fun.
I'm not going.
How come?
Dad's sick, I have to take care of him.
Then I'm not going either.
What would I do there alone?
Wait, what do you mean alone?
Your whole class is going.
Exactly, what would I do there alone with them?
You've got to be kidding.
You guys stay here and I'll end up at midnight in Luhacovice.
Lexa, Luhacovice is in the completely opposite direction.
Exactly.
Thanks a lot.
I'm not going anywhere.
Ivuska!
Hey, could you please be nice and make me that tea grandma used to make?
When you caught a cold in winter, fever you've got, fighting with cramps, on top of it tea that heals, a drop of rum, a spoon of honey, won't let you go to heaven.
Exactly.
And most importantly, don't forget to put everything in that belongs.
Wait, that was fast, you couldn't have had time to make it.
I made it half an hour ago, but you couldn't be bothered to come get it.
I'm disoriented, I might not manage it.
Oh, but you didn't put ginger in it.
Don't forget to always add fresh ginger root.
She probably didn't slice the ginger.
Sliced, grated ginger, same thing.
Don't even think of using a grater for ginger.
Ivuska, could you warm it up a little...
Of course.
Ouch, that burns.
We need to cool it down.
What are you doing?
There's no verse about ice.
Maybe she just didn't preserve it.
Ivuska, I can't drink tea with ice when I have a temperature.
You don't.
What?
I do.
Wait.
Here, feel, I've got this localized fever right here.
You have no fever, no diarrhea, no thirst, and you're not disoriented.
I happen to be disoriented like crazy.
Yeah?
Then show me how disoriented you are.
Come on, I'm seriously sick, I'm not going to prove how sick I am when I'm sick.
Fine, find someone who'll believe you're sick, who won't grate ginger on a grater, and who'll take care of you.
I'm going to the cabin.
Forgive in autumn, kindly be warming up.
Ivuska, just go, I'll take care of bro.
What, you taking care of Ozzak?
You doubting me, bro?
I used to push you to the swimming pool on a wooden cart when we were kids.
Yeah, but you rarely brought me back.
And who taught you to draw?
You did, but when I drew it in first grade in the teacher's memory book, I got a bad mark in conduct.
And who gave you your first guitar?
Ozzak, but when the owner came for it, I lost two teeth.
Very kind.
You'll manage here just fine.
What?
Sasa, can we go?
Iva, disaster.
Lexa drank the booze stash.
Lexa, good thing you're here, please.
Can you help me light this ear candle?
I feel like I'm having hearing problems.
Mr. Ozzak was right, I really do have bad hearing.
Lexa, do you understand what I'm saying?
So that's how it is.
Whatever, I'll get my things, close up here and make a doctor's appointment.
Bro, there you are.
Don't worry, your mom will sort that tea out.
Bro, I'm feeling a bit faint.
Weakling.
I'm faint probably from hunger.
Want a roll?
When we were kids, Mom used to make garlic soup.
With rolls.
With soaked rolls?
With soggy ones?
So do you want the roll or not?
Yeah.
No rolls left.
You'll get a cucumber.
Look, Ozzak, I hope you don't expect me to eat this.
You know what?
No, it's just to entertain you.
Cheer you up a bit.
Combine harvester.
Look, bro, I'm really feeling truly awful for this kind of humor.
Try that on me one more time and I'll stuff your coat with buckshot till the frogs are hopping.
Look, bro, you're testing how much I can take, right?
You just want me to get up and walk over there myself.
Tomas, you sly dog, you can't fool me.
I think I'll go lie down.
I can't do it.
I can't even make it to the room.
I don't even know which direction to go.
I'm completely disoriented.
Easy, bro.
I'll help you.
Here we are.
So what about vacation?
Going anywhere this year?
Around Europe or somewhere farther?
Greece?
I'm jealous, it's beautiful there.
Who are you going with?
Your wife?
You puked on the waiter.
Well, if all that happened to you, be glad you're going anywhere at all.
You have to go to the hospital?
You have a patient?
This late?
You never rest.
That's terrible.
Where do you work anyway?
What, laryngology?
Oh, otorhinolaryngology.
Right.
What?
I'll rip him apart.
Yeah, I'm closing up and I'll be right there.
You'll have to go.
But my son got drunk and is bothering the neighbors.
You'll have to.
No, I'm not pouring you any more.
Alright.
Ozzak, what are you doing?
You can't carry me.
Come on.
How many times did I bounce you on these shoulders, huh?
That was thirty-five years ago.
Don't you think things have changed since then?
Like maybe I've grown?
And I haven't?
Where would I be if I couldn't carry my own little bro?
All aboard.
Three, two, one, go!
And there you go!
And giddyup!
Where to?
To the room, buddy.
Right.
What is it?
Just carrying you around for a bit.
Look, bro, I don't want to overwork you.
I can see you need a break.
Good idea.
Let's take a breather.
We're close to the couch, right?
Yeah, come on, let's go.
Phone.
We can handle this.
I'll put you down.
Or I'll hold you by the legs.
Tomas, I'm closing early today.
I need to see a doctor.
Tomas, I can't understand you at all, Tomas.
Pardon, pardon.
God, I can't even hear you.
It's even worse than I thought.
Lexa.
Drink up, it'll do you good.
I doubt Lexa intends to drink anything more.
He must be soaked like a sponge.
A camel, also known as the minibus of our forests.
I was supposed to be at the cabin.
I was supposed to be dreamily watching Hajek play an out-of-tune guitar, Horackova braiding flowers in her hair, and Novacek throwing up.
Iva, don't talk about Novacek in front of him, look how upset he got.
Caramel is a concrete dog.
So, what's going on here?
What do you know about what he's thinking, kid?
You only drank a tiny bit, right?
Look at yourself.
Why did you get so wrecked, for God's sake?
Right, so when Novacek jumps out the window, you'll jump after him?
I don't know.
Before him?
I don't know.
Whose kid are you?
Mom's.
Who poured for you, I know that much.
A weathervane can hardly hit the bottom.
And what did this one drink?
You can't understand a word he says.
We don't know, he was already lying here like this.
Something might be wrong with him.
Ozzak has a fever.
40.2.
That's nonsense.
You're right.
40.3.
Nonsense!
The only seriously sick person in this room is me, but nobody here gives a damn.
Tomas, I can tell when someone's dying.
What?
Okay, it's not that serious, but you should definitely rush him to the hospital.
Let's go, kid.
Look, I can assure you, you'll get your butt kicked sooner than Novacek.
See how easy it is, bro.
You're light as a feather.
Novakova from the fifth floor is badmouthing Ozzak again.
Says he doesn't wash, so no wonder he ended up in the hospital.
Marcelka, did the doctor really say you need a hearing aid?
What did the doctor say?
I didn't understand him.
And what do you do when you can't understand your ENT doctor?
You buy a hearing aid.
Now I hear better than ever.
Hey, hey!
Mrs. Podehnalov from the fifth floor is also talking about Ozzak.
Yeah, the whole building's talking about him.
The whole building?
The whole street's talking about him.
I'm surprised how much everyone misses him.
Four people came to the store today asking about him.
And when I told them he's being released from the hospital today, they were so happy they didn't even steal anything.
How did the delivery go?
Smoothly, Dad.
Lexa and the driver brought the fruit right to his room.
What?
We clearly agreed that visits are forbidden.
Ozzak couldn't bear knowing that we know he's in the hospital.
Did he recognize you?
No.
I was disguised as a nurse and Sasa as a patient.
It was great.
Mr. Ozzak was very happy about the fruit.
He even has a special bed for it.
He's probably waiting for it to ferment.
He looks much better already.
He slapped my butt twice.
And the beer I left on the nightstand was gone in no time.
He's getting back to normal.
Benes writes that they released him.
False alarm.
Oh, so there might be school tomorrow.
Well, actually...
Unlikely.
I can hear him already.
He just opened the front door.
Now he's opening the elevator door.
And now he coughed.
And here he is.
Ozzak, I've got new hearing aids, now I'll understand you.
That's good, bimbo.
They always work.
Ivuska, Tomas, you're looking good.
I'm glad you're all right.
Well then, all roads lead home.
Not that I couldn't last in that hospital, but I didn't want to leave the store unsupervised for too long.
Don't ask me anything, a real man has to keep some things to himself.
But I picked these for you, so you'd have vitamins and wouldn't get sick.
Cheers.
Doctor, it's improved significantly since last time.
I can understand everyone even without the hearing aid now.
Well, we think.
But we're above.
Clearly obvious.